What Happened to The Golden Rule?

Do I sound frustrated? You bet, I am! I’m just coming out of a lose/lose real estate situation that resulted in an unhappy insulted seller and a failed disappointed buyer. This fiasco was totally avoidable.

If the prospective buyer had followed professional advice and respected the seller, he would be on his way to happy home ownership. Instead…early on, when the buyer’s initial offer could only be categorized as “low ball”, the buyer also asked for the seller’s personal possessions.

Despite an unrealistic low proposal, the buyer wanted the seller’s appliances and their children’s expensive play set. Even when the play set was denied, the buyer kept demanding it be part of the transaction. From this point, the scale was tipped against the buyer.

Later in negotiations that were doomed to fail, the buyer, once again, offered a below market amount for the house. While the buyer initially intended to propose $290,000, low for this house, ultimately, he insisted on only offering $289,500. The buyer “had a point to make”! What he did was insult the seller by creating a slap-in-the face scenario.

When a buyer or seller backs the respondent up against the proverbial wall, causing the other party to reply, “It’s the principle of the thing!”, it’s a guaranteed recipe for failure. Every single time. In my opinion, negotiations can and should be based on The Golden Rule.

As a Katy Realtor for over 19 years, I’ve experienced innumerable happy closings. However, sometimes, no matter how hard I try, I can’t get the deal together although the buyer and seller are (finally) only a few thousand dollars apart. Agreement should, and could be, easily achieved by meeting each other in the middle. It’s not only big-picture thinking but also a time-tested compromise that works. When one of the parties refuses this approach, the best interests of both sides are forever lost.

Every seller deserves to get a bit above fair-market-value for their home. Every buyer should have the opportunity to purchase a little under fair-market-value. The obvious compromise is fair-market-value; “fair” is not an accidental part of the phrase. Win/win just feels right or it should!

Animosity laden negotiations fail. The parties might as well be a vast amount of money outside agreement as they are never going to successfully come together. It matters not how much the seller is motivated to sell or the buyer wants this particular house, the deal is dead before it gets a running start. It’s sad, and frustrating, to witness.

What causes the collapse of negotiations that are so close to agreement? What happens to the business and personal approach of creating a win/win transaction? Simply put, what happened to The Golden Rule?

In my opinion, it’s the self-centered belief that one party has to prevail over the other party. Rather than arrive at a final purchase price that is fair for both the seller and buyer, some ultra-competitive individuals seem compelled to position themselves to “take away more” at the closing table. They have to “win”! This naturally creates resentment and all too often a  screeching halt to all communication.

Even if the buyer and seller finally agree, invariably, the party that was particularly stubborn will actually lose in the final settlement. Win/win has long since fallen away. Make a seller mad and a buyer will pay more. Every time. Alienate a prospective buyer and they will ultimately offer less than their “absolute top dollar”. It’s human nature to retaliate when you feel someone is trying to take advantage of you.

For me, when faced with an irrevocable stalemate, it’s both a painful professional and personal situation.  While loss of commissions is unpleasant, the true disappointment comes from the refusal of one party to “do the right thing” thereby thwarting the goals of both families.

I never want a client to pay too much or sell too cheaply, but, rather, to negotiate with a fair mindset. When it’s my client who won’t work towards a win/win resolution, such as this recent situation, I wonder what I might have said or done to make things turn out differently. How could I have “helped” my client appreciate the wisdom of win/win? With nearly 20 years in the business, I continue to grow and to learn; every transaction teaches me something new.

What is always constant is that The Golden Rule should be a part of business if it is to matter in our personal lives. The two are not separate.

If  you agree with my business philosophy, call me anytime at 713-818-2404 or visit my site! I’d be honored to answer any of your questions and to help you realize your real estate goals.